“First of all, love is a joint experience between two persons — but the fact that it is a joint experience does not mean that it is a similar experience to the two people involved. There are the lover and the beloved, but these two come from different countries. Often the beloved is only a stimulus for all the stored-up love which had lain quiet within the lover for a long time hitherto. And somehow every lover knows this. He feels in his soul that his love is a solitary thing. He comes to know a new, strange loneliness and it is this knowledge which makes him suffer. So there is only one thing for the lover to do. He must house his love within himself as best he can; he must create for himself a whole new inward world — a world intense and strange, complete in himself. Let it be added here that this lover about whom we speak need not necessarily be a young man saving for a wedding ring — this lover can be man, woman, child, or indeed any human creature on this earth.
Now, the beloved can also be of any description. The most outlandish people can be the stimulus for love. A man may be a doddering great-grandfather and still love only a strange girl he saw in the streets of Cheehaw one afternoon two decades past. The preacher may love a fallen woman. The beloved may be treacherous, greasy-headed, and given to evil habits. Yes, and the lover may see this as clearly as anyone else — but that does not affect the evolution of his love one whit. A most mediocre person can be the object of a love which is wild, extravagant, and beautiful as the poison lilies of the swamp. A good man may be the stimulus for a love both violent and debased, or a jabbering madman may bring about in the soul of someone a tender and simple idyll. Therefore, the value and quality of any love is determined solely by the lover himself.
It is for this reason that most of us would rather love than be loved. Almost everyone wants to be the lover. And the curt truth is that, in a deep secret way, the state of being beloved is intolerable to many. The beloved fears and hates the lover, and with the best of reasons. For the lover is forever trying to strip bare his beloved. The lover craves any possible relation with the beloved, even if this experience can cause him only pain.”
Carson McCullers' The Ballad of the Sad Café
Who are you... the lover or the beloved?
❤ ❤ ❤
Me lo he leído hace relativamente poco. Te has sentido identificada con este pasaje?
ResponderEliminarDiscúlpame por ponerle siempre la guinda ácida al pastel. Pero para mí un amor pleno y duradero sólo puede existir si estás preparado para ser ambos simultáneamente. Y, por supuesto, la otra persona implicada también. Uff... demasiados elementos para que le resulte fácil al amor su consumación total? A mí me gusta creer que, a pesar de que no sea fácil, se da gracias a la estrategia vital de uno mismo.
Eres hermosa, por cierto.
Carlota, cuando escribí la pregunta are you the lover or the beloved? realmente la estaba dirigiendo hacia ti... porque me gusta mucho cuando pones la guinda ácida al pastel. La visión del amor de McCullers yo tampoco la comparto, aunque puedo llegar a entenderla y en algunos puntos encuentro el sentido... pero estoy mucho más de acuerdo con la tuya. Sin embargo, este fragmento me pareció esencial para comprender la imposibilidad del amor dentro del triángulo Marvin Macy, Amelia y Lymon, por eso lo encuentro tan inspirador...
EliminarTe mando un beso enorme
Hahaha Encantada de esto!
EliminarEstoy de acuerdo contigo. Entiendo perfectamente lo que McCullers quiere transmitir. Lo abstracto, oscuro e incomprensible que puede llegar a ser el amor. Que ser amado sea más difícil que amar aunque de buenas a primeras no lo parezca. Por eso McCullers mola, porque ella lo sabe.
Yo de pequeña pensaba que lo duro era amar. Pero cuando sentí por primera vez ese miedo, angustia o ahogo que da el ser el amado y no amador, comprendí la complejidad de todo. El peso de la responsabilidad, el vértigo.
Es inspirador, sin duda. Me encantó el relato, eso se da por hecho.
Disfruto tu blog.
Un beso fuerte.